I’m outing myself as a major nerd here, but at the start of every school year there was one thing I looked forward to: the stationery order.

Nothing made me happier than taking my list to the local newsagent and stocking up on lined pages, ring-binders, the perfect new pencil case…

And then there was the careful selection of the contact, to be painstakingly applied to the covers of notebooks with the threat of a stray air-bubble always ominous. Inhaling the scent of the paper and seeing the satisfying stack of neat books always gave me hope that this year would be the year (those books would always wind up battered and dog-eared by December, fossilising a squashed banana in my locker).

As an adult, with no stationery list or contacting required, I’ve satisfied my annual ‘clean-start’ urge with a list of January resolutions instead. In the post- Christmas haze I purge my inbox, reorganise my desktop folders, clean out my desk. And invariably, I promise myself that this year, I won’t be answering emails 24/7 or trying to find a file I’ve saved as 1RzHHb890.jpg in a random folder three weeks ago.

By around January 21 my folders start getting out of control again.

Come February I’m back to writing things on my to-do list after I’ve done them, just so I can feel my life is not totally out of my control.

In March I will have completely forgotten what my resolutions were.

So this year, I’m trying something different – no resolutions. If the last two years have taught me anything, it’s that we never know what’s coming next. And while resolutions are great if they work for you, for me, they tend to just wind up as more unticked boxes on a to-do list. So here’s what I’m giving up on, before I even commit to it.

Meditation

Just about every wellbeing expert worth their salt will tell you meditation is a must. To that I say, no thank you, please. I have all the apps. I have a lovely meditation mist. I have delightful floor cushions. I have tried. But I have no interest in meditation. It does nothing for me, as far as I can tell, and to be honest, I feel more relaxed after cleaning my kitchen than I do after meditating. So I’m going to stop trying to make it happen. My kitchen will be really clean this year instead.

Batch-emailing

I love this idea. Productivity experts recommend dedicating set blocks of time to reading and answering emails in one go, rather than responding as they come. It makes sense in theory – my emails are constantly distracting me from other tasks – but in practice? I’ve never been able to make it work. Because the reality of work in a digital world is that things pop up unexpectedly, all the time. I’m sure this approach does work for some, but for me, it’s time to let the batch ship sail.

Calm inbox

Similarly, I sometimes receive emails from people who have added a gentle signature to their message: this is a calm inbox. I check my emails once a day, and will respond in due course. A calm inbox! It sounds so glamorous and GOOPy. My inbox is never calm. But then again, neither am I. If I responded once per day I’d never get anything done. I work remotely, so I’d either be on the phone all day (a millennial’s nightmare), or a day behind. So I’ll continue on with my harried, non-Gwyneth-approved inbox.

Inbox zero

This is a sore spot. I have tried to reach ‘inbox zero’ for years. The last time I achieved it was at about 6pm on my last day at my last job. Just before Christmas I did my very best to get my inbox sparkling clean, but there was one stubborn message trail that for some reason would not budge (I mean that literally. I get an error message every time I try to drag it to a folder). I’m taking it as a sign. It’s January 19, and I’m admitting defeat. Inbox zero is a dream I’m letting go of. Along with all the expectations of new year, new me.