How can we support parents better in the workplace? The year is 2023 and we’re still having the same-old struggles that we’ve been having for decades, to help mothers thrive better in the workplace - from flexible working and parental leave to attitudes towards parents at work.

So, to understand how we can support first-time and returning mothers at work and encourage better working policies for parents, I’ve enlisted the help of some parenting experts and women CEOs to understand the problem better so we can work together towards solutions.

What needs to change to support parents in the workplace better?

Flexible working is definitely a starting point. Lauren Couch, Chief Revenue Officer of Growth Lending, says "businesses need to offer flexibility to all staff, not just parents. The only good thing to come out of lockdowns was the ability for staff to demonstrate to employers that they can be trusted to do their jobs, regardless of where they are physically and the amount of hours they work. The focus should be on quality outputs rather than measuring success based on wasted hours at a desk."

Nicole Green, Co-Founder of Catch communications agency, impresses the importance of better childcare in the UK. She says: "Childcare needs to be seen as infrastructure and it needs to be properly funded by the government. Truly affordable childcare is a vital piece of our social and economic infrastructure just like high-speed rail and building of schools, roads and hospitals."

She believes it is wrong for childcare to be treated as another piece of current spending that’s fighting for a slice of the pie, when investing in early years education is one of the best investments that the state can make. Some great strides have been made but as the founder of a small business, one thing she is acutely aware of is not being able to offer the same competitive packages to her employees that are available at bigger organisations. She believes the government has to step up and increase financial support so that small businesses are better able to offer enhanced parental leave packages.

What attitudes need to shift?

It’s about the way we see parents. As Couch says, "the younger generation appreciates that 9-5 at your desk is not the most efficient or effective way to work. Ultimately people respond more to a varied day and creativity is best when people can work in a dynamic environment. Some people prefer to work in the evenings, some early in the morning so one size does not fit all."

Charlie Day is a Business and Sales expert and founder of the Entrepreneurs Growth Club. She believes that the stigma lies in our attitude to women versus men. "Originally I thought I'd be back at work after six weeks as I love my job, but when my son arrived, I felt like I had no clue how I could do both of these things. From the moment he was born, I noticed that I was constantly being asked questions about when I was returning to work and, later, if I felt guilty about leaving him - I still get asked this now and he's six. Yet my husband, like many new dads, went back to work after 2 weeks as that was all the paternity leave he was granted and I know he has never had these questions directed at him. No one has asked him if our son worries about him working too much or being away from home."

What other countries can we look to for inspiration?

Couch points to Norway for inspiration. She notes that in Norway, employees receive an annual vacation allowance of 25 days and paid parental leave for 707 days. They value 'other' benefits like health care and focus on their employees first. She says that in turn, the employees care about their employer as their employer cares about them.

Green takes inspiration from Sweden where childcare workers are paid above the national average salary and Iceland, which is also streets ahead on equal parental leave and tops the UNICEF rankings for childcare quality. Icelandic couples on an average wage, with two kids in care, spend just five per cent of their income on child care. Single parents pay less. All of these countries have prioritised childcare and classified it as a vital part of the education system. In short - as an investment in the future.

What advice would you give first-time mothers?

Natalie Trice is a PR expert, coach and author. She says planning is crucial: "There is no doubt that the workforce loses a valuable number of women because flexibility, part time working, job shares and opportunities just aren’t there, and that’s before we factor in the costs of childcare in the UK. However, if you can do your planning, speak to your manager as well as your HR team and start to put plans in place from the start, you are ahead of the game. Look at when you want to start your maternity leave as well as discussing the package in place, and then consider your own situation to see when you want to return and in what capacity. When you do start your leave, please enjoy it."

Sallyann Beresford, doula and author, reinforces the need to plan. She says "it is difficult to know how you are going to feel about returning to work when you are pregnant with your first baby. Plan to take as much time off as you can afford, which will help you to look closely at all your options."

Emiliana Hall is the Founder of The Mindful Birth Group®, an antenatal education organisation that supports expectant parents start parenthood on the front foot through their UK and Zoom based courses and app. Her advice is to keep an open mind; during pregnancy, you may feel that your current role will be easy to slot back into when your maternity leave has finished, or you may think you never want to go back to the workplace, or you want to try something new. She explains that until your baby has been born and you have started to ride the emotional rollercoaster of becoming a new parent, it's very difficult to know how you will feel about your work. Especially with added layers of childcare logistics and emotions coming into play. Keep your options as open as you can, and be OK with making a decision later down the line.

And what about looking for a new job? Sue Andrews, a HR & Business Consultant at KIS Finance, says "when it comes to the interview, don’t be afraid to speak about the skills that you have developed as a parent, as they are completely transferable to the workplace. Remember, that being able to multi-task by juggling numerous demands, whilst managing your time efficiently are all highly relevant skills that any working mother has to develop, and which make you a valuable asset to any employer."

What do we need to do to support mothers re-entering the world of work after maternity leave? What can we do to retain talent in the workplace?

Emiliana Hall says emotional sensitivity is key; we need to take into account the practical and emotional side of a parent leaving their children in childcare for perhaps the first time. She says "it can be all-consuming when your baby or child is not settling, and how a parent needs to deal with that is not a reflection of their ability in the workplace. They need to be shown empathy and understanding for a return-to-work program that comes with flexibility and support. This will only benefit the workplace long term as they will feel valued and supported."

Sue Andrews believes that the support that employers provide in those early days can make all the difference between a new mum making a successful return or leaving the workplace for good. Given the cost of hiring and training a replacement, it makes sense on every level to support working mothers and retain their talent in the workforce. On advising companies, she says:

Be proactive – before they even go on maternity leave, have a supportive and open discussion with them about how they would like to maintain contact during their maternity leave and if they have any thoughts about how they might like to return.

Be patient – returning after an extended break can be really challenging so be patient with your employee if they take some time to get back up to speed with their role. Empathy and encouragement will go a long way to helping them grow in confidence.

Be flexible – it’s not uncommon for an employee to return on one set of arrangements, only to find that it doesn't really work for them in practice, particularly for first time mums. If this is the case, be prepared to revisit their request and be flexible in allowing them to adjust their plans.

Claire Crompton, commercial director at digital marketing agency The Audit Lab, talks about the importance of open dialogue. She believes that support for working mothers should also extend beyond physical accommodations in the office. "Just because a woman has given birth, this doesn’t mean her ambitions have suddenly disappeared. It’s true that new mothers have a lot more on their plates than before, but if they can give birth to a human life by themselves, they’re certainly more than capable of working hard towards their goals."

Women with children are more than just mothers; they have aspirations, drive, and grit. So, if they don’t see their career at a certain workplace continuing to develop, they’ll be discouraged from returning. Employers need to take this into account when welcoming women back to the workforce, asking them how they themselves see the next few months unfolding. Take the time to create a realistic path of progression with returning mothers, catering to their needs as both a mother and an employee.

Is there such a thing as work-life balance?

Beresford says: "I’m not sure there is such a thing as a work-life balance for most women when their children are young, particularly if they are going back part time. I often describe this as 'the worst of all worlds' because work colleagues think you have it easy and so does your partner. They think you have a few days off each week, when in reality you are expected to complete the work of a full timer in the few days you are paid for, and at the same time expected to keep the house stocked and clean whilst looking after your child. Whereas a woman who works full time is likely to get a lot more respect and support from her employer and partner, but may really miss out on spending time with her child."

Trice follows this by saying “The idea that you can split your time 50:50 just isn’t realistic and I believe that it’s more about finding the right balance for you rather than any thing prescriptive. Boundaries are going to be key to any balance you do want to achieve and as a working parent I think that you need to be as strict with these as you can be. If you are now contracted to a 3 day week, you need to find a way to ensure that is 3 days, not 5, and that you aren’t working way more hours than you are meant to – either something that is fostered by company culture or your own need to be seen to showing up and being a team player.”

If you want to find out more about motherhood and wellness in the working world, join us on 10 March for our International Women's Day Step Forward summit.