D&I_Are women given supportive and flexible options when dealing with children with specialist needs Website hero

Work

Rise Up: "How Juggling Work With Caring For My Mentally Unwell Son Led To My Career Change"

Welcome to Rise Up, AllBright’s celebration of diverse careers, diverse experiences and diverse women in the workplace. Curated by our community, for our community, this is a space to champion the incredible work achieved by all women. This week, we hear about how one woman balanced her career with caring for her child through their experience of a psychotic breakdown, and how this inspired her business.

D&I edit logo for CMS

Samantha Francis is the Founder of Find a Balance , a social enterprise offering support for individuals and families struggling with mental health issues. She shares her personal experience of balancing caring for a child experiencing a psychotic breakdown with full-time employment, and how this inspired her business.

It all started when my son was at university. I was a single parent of five children and also worked full-time. My son was studying and working two jobs – I thought that he was doing so well that at first I didn’t notice any warning signs. I didn’t realise that he had become paranoid. He wasn’t sleeping at night and was overeating. He would tell me that he was communicating with his father, who had passed away when he was nine. I didn’t take any notice. I just thought that he was staying up too late playing video games. One night when I was out for dinner with a friend, I received a call from my neighbour. They told me that my son was hanging out of a third-floor window of my house. I just froze. I couldn’t believe it. When I got home my son was saying bizarre things – I realised that he had been hearing voices this whole time and was hallucinating.

"I was only entitled to a few days off work, and after that I had to take unpaid leave. I had bills to pay and I didn’t know how I was going to live, but with my son unwell I knew that I had to take time out"

Samantha Francis, Founder of Find a Balance

The next day I went into work and told them that my son wasn’t well and that I needed time off. Unfortunately in this scenario, particularly when your child is technically an adult, some employers can lack compassion. I was only entitled to a few days off work, and after that I had to take unpaid leave. I had bills to pay and I didn’t know how I was going to live, but with my son unwell I knew that I had to take time out. Over the next few days my son’s condition worsened. He started shouting and swearing at me. I called the GP because he wasn’t sleeping and my younger children were becoming anxious. They were suffering, and we were all petrified. On the ninth day my son punched through a window. We took him to A&E and were able to get him sectioned. At the hospital I had a meeting with a consultant, who told me that my son had experienced a psychotic breakdown. He had been struggling with depression after a break-up but we had no idea. We hadn’t seen the signs. Whilst my son was in hospital his condition worsened, and he eventually escaped. I was frantic. Fortunately I managed to find him, but we decided to release him into my care because I didn’t feel safe and confident leaving him at the hospital. I was now dealing with the pressure of returning to work at the same time as caring for my son and protecting my other children. I had to deal with clients all day whilst worrying about my son being at home. We put locks on the bedroom doors because we were so scared. It was a traumatic experience for all of us.

"People don’t often understand that mental health crises also affect the family deeply. The system isn’t designed to support people that are caring for someone who is ill. There was nothing in place for me"

Samantha Francis, Founder of Find a Balance

When you’re unwell you usually get a lot of support from your employer – you often have access to occupational health, and people are generall y more understanding. When it’s a family member who is unwell, that support is often unavailable to you. People don’t often understand that mental health crises also affect the family deeply. The system isn’t designed to support people that are caring for someone who is ill. There was nothing in place for me. Continually fighting to keep my job at the same time as fighting for my son’s safety was hard. It was a challenge that I would never want anyone else to go through. My experience had a massive impact on how I built my own business. As a mother and carer, I realised that employers should be able to better support individuals. They should help them to establish coping mechanisms and understand their rights. I stayed in my job for a year whilst I cared for my son and researched how I could design a program for families like ours and secure finances to do so. I went to school to study social entrepreneurship before finally giving up my job to launch Find A Balance. 

"It’s important that we take mental health seriously. You can’t see it, but it’s an illness that is incredibly hard to deal with"

Samantha Francis, Founder of Find a Balance

I used to be a union rep, and I incorporated a lot of my experience and understanding of employment law into my business. I wanted to be able to give advice and guidance to people who were in a similar position to me – who were so overwhelmed that they didn’t have the capacity to think about work. How people function as both an employer and carer started to form a big part of my program. We managed to secure my son a care coordinator and got him into supported housing. He finished university and I was so proud when he graduated. It was hard but there was light at the end of the tunnel. I’m now running my business full-time, and we provide a range of mental health services for people from predominantly African and Caribbean communities. We’ve won awards and I’ve been nominated for a CBE. As much as my experience was challenging, I’ve been able to build something from it. It’s important that we take mental health seriously. You can’t see it, but it’s an illness that is incredibly hard to deal with. People need to have compassion, and I think that employers should have training on how to support not only employees that are unwell, but also people who are carers. It’s not easy to balance a family crisis with your work, and there needs to be more in place to protect and support people going through this.

What you should do if you're struggling to balance a carer role with your career Francisca Burtenshaw is Senior Director of HR (Western Europe and Nordic Region) at PRA Health Sciences. She shares her top tips on what you should do if you find yourself in a similar position to Samantha.

"People won’t always have the emotional intelligence to understand how best to help, so by clearly explaining what you need you improve your chances of getting what you want"

Francisca Burtenshaw, Senior Director of HR (Western Europe and Nordic Region) at PRA Health Sciences

Join the Digital Sisterhood

We have launched the Digital Sisterhood to provide women everywhere with the community and support they need at the moment. Be that a safe space to ask questions – and receive honest answers – or somewhere to find a digital event that will offer you the information, or perhaps the encouragement, you need to get you through the coming days and weeks. We’re here for you, so please do head to  digital.allbrightcollective.com  to claim your 14 day free trial and join our community.

Read more...