Words by Eva Karayiannis Photography by Alice Whitby

Trained as a lawyer, Eva Karayiannis started childrenswear brand Caramel 20 years ago from her kitchen table in West London, having spent two years tracking down handcrafted knitwear from Peru and clothes from individual designers in London and the Cotswolds, before opening her first shop. The label now includes womenswear and homewares. Here, as part of AllBright’s special Mother’s Day series ahead of Mother’s Day on March 14, we publish a letter which Eva wrote to her children Chloe, Kiki and Aris, for the book GRACE MOTHERS, written by Georgie Abay, Julie Adams and Claire Brayford.

Dearest Chloe, Kiki and Aris,

I have no idea if I am a good or bad mother and, to be honest, I don’t even know what a good mother or a bad mother is. Chloe, when you were little, you used to say that when you grew up you would become a stay-at-home mum, one who cooked homemade meals and not just the cupcakes we occasionally baked on Saturday mornings. Which was quite amusing, because my mother never did any of the above and I still managed to find my way in life without having to see a therapist. Recently, you, Chloe (at age 23) congratulated me on being me. So perhaps the lesson is that we shouldn’t hold up a stereotype of what a mother is, because it makes life stressful and confusing. Every mother can be different and choose a way that works for her to bring up her children.

What else will help you navigate your life better? First and foremost, discover your sense of self. The sooner you decide what you wish to do with your life and what makes you tick, the better. That way, you can work out your own rules in all aspects of life: how to be a partner, husband/wife/mother/ father, career person. Granted, this is not something that you will necessarily understand until much later.

It’s also important to choose your partner wisely. Strive for an equal relationship (in all areas) and try to allow people to be themselves. Remember, it’s partnership rather than ownership and you’re in marriage for the long game. Bringing up a family  

is a collaboration; it wasn’t me doing everything at home. You need to do things as a family, a team. When your father was working in a more demanding job, I had to do school pick-ups and be around more. Then the roles reversed, which, for our generation, was a very modern approach.

Eva Karayiannis. Founder of Caramel

Growing up, I was fortunate enough never to have felt that I had to go and get a specific job. Even when I trained as a lawyer and then went on to become a childrenswear designer, my parents didn’t judge. So make life choices that allow you to have a profession you enjoy in the long term. My achievement is that I have a life in place which allows me to have continuous pleasure. Remember, too, to enjoy the process. This is very important. 

It has been a conscious decision not to have investors in Caramel and consequently have to report to them, which means I have 12 stores worldwide and not 140. In business, I’ve learnt it’s better to be gentle (although this is different from being a doormat), because when you are kind, you get the most out of your team. I have a good work ethic and I like to think I have led by example. 

I think it’s important to understand that things around you (hopefully) come from a place of integrity. Learn to appreciate quality and care about what you consume, because when you understand and appreciate what you have, then you will become happy, fulfilled, stronger and grounded. 

What has motherhood taught me? That you experience life in a far richer way, even if it actually makes you poorer! You also get quicker at everything. Don’t wrap up your own children in cotton wool, they will never learn to deal with the hurley-burley that comes their way if you have spoonfed them everything. They need to build up resilience and learn to go with the flow.

Also, don’t get too caught up with what a ‘successful’ childhood looks like and focus instead on raising someone who is compassionate and kind. Mothers put so much pressure on themselves and, in the end, the academia, the schooling, which friendships to have... Well, they don’t really matter. Motherhood is also about priorities: what do you prioritise in life and what do you let slide?

It’s a cliché, but don’t sweat the small stuff. Because the superwoman myth is exactly that. A myth.

Love from Mummy