One woman explains how learning to say no to booze helped her to say yes to her personal and professional goals.

Booze. Once it was banned completely, and now some governments deem it a Coronavirus “essential” . Our relationship with alcohol is a complex one   –   and our changing work habits during the pandemic are exacerbating that further. As our homes become the new unregulated office spaces, 1 in 3 of us are more likely to be pouring ourselves a drink during work hours (according to a recent US study).  Freelance writer and digital strategist, Ally Sinyard, 30, noticed that alcohol was affecting her work-life back in 2015. She therefore decided to try her first ever Stoptober - giving up alcohol for the month of October. This coming New Year’s Day, she will be five years dry.  “Throughout 2015, I'd noticed that my drinking was getting a little out of control," she says. "It wasn’t that I was drinking often; it was more that, when I did, it was excessive. I’d forget huge chunks of the night and wake up not remembering how I got there. I didn’t like it. I really hated the feelings of dread and shame. I also realised I didn’t really like how being drunk made me feel: sluggish, bored, and prone to silliness of the dangerous sort.” 

Throughout her teens and even at university, Ally had had a relatively good relationship with alcohol. But sometimes she would emotionally shut down after drinking.  “I’d end up self-harming as a release,” she explains. “I later realised this was a sign of a mental health issue. After university, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, depression and anxiety at 22. Among other symptoms, it means I can be susceptible to chronic feelings or emptiness and excessive behaviour.” The turning point She soon started to notice that her drinking was affecting her work in tiny ways. “I pride myself on being a hard worker and a team player, but I couldn’t give 100% with a hangover," she says. "I could just about get away with it when I was a junior working in magazines but, when I left to work in a newsroom, I learned there are some jobs you just can’t take your foot off the pedal for. "I only had my wrist slapped once. I was six weeks into a new editor role and went to a rock music awards party on a school night. Last seen on a hotel rooftop at 4am, I didn’t sleep, and thought it would be a magnificent idea to go straight to work and have a 6am desk nap.”

“When my boss turned up at 8.30am, she looked me square in my red, wild eyes and knew something was amiss. ‘We can’t let clients see you like this,’ she told me. She sent me home in disgrace and, because she is far more merciful and forgiving than I deserve, I got off very lightly.”  That incident was enough to make Ally stop and evaluate her drinking: “It was very unlike me, to knowingly make these decisions that could impact my work and just shrug them off." But boozy parties came with her job. “If I didn’t rein myself in, I knew I’d eventually end up getting fired," she says. She remembers her first Stoptober. “I decided to give it a go and surprised myself with how well it went. For me, it wasn’t too challenging. It probably helps that I’m quite confident and comfortable in social situations. It made me realise that I personally wasn’t drinking to relax or feel confident, but to try and make more fun come out, like those awful gift shop cards. I also had a bit of FOMO; if everyone else was drinking, I wanted to as well'."

Going teetotal for good Ask her now, and Ally describes Stoptober as a 31-day free trial to a lifetime subscription. “Those 31 days changed my life," she says. "When I see people doing it now for the first time, I feel excited for them. You learn a lot about yourself in that short month.”  Ally did go back to drinking that November and December, but she still wasn’t having a good time. “I took the decision to quit for good, because I could imagine what the road ahead looked like. It probably seems like an extreme decision, but that Stoptober in 2015 showed me I didn’t miss drinking.” By January 1st, going teetotal just made sense for Ally. “It’s a cliché, but it’s true. I woke up on New Year’s Day, feeling horribly hungover and utterly miserable, and declared, ‘That’s it, I’m never drinking again!’ and actually stuck to it. There was nothing particularly exceptional about the night before, it was just the final nail in the coffin of a difficult year. Starting fresh just felt right.” Starting fresh in a new year Ally's lifestyle has changed dramatically in the five years since that morning. “Despite not feeling the absence of alcohol in my life, my life itself ended up changing. In those first couple of years I dropped three stone and became pescatarian. I felt happier, healthier, more alert and much more comfortable in my own skin. The only thing I missed was the occasional mayhem that only 3am tequila shots can bring, but it felt like a fair trade.”

She started running regularly and taking up a form of French kickboxing called Savate. She currently holds the title of British Champion in the sport. “I had my first fight in the July of 2016 and just fell in love with it. I’ve won gold at Open tournaments across Europe and represented Team GB at World and European championships. “All the other things you tend to hear about giving up alcohol were true for me: I saved money, my skin improved, and I felt less anxious. My mental health episodes have certainly become few and far between. First dates can be a bit awkward while you get used to it, but it depends how your date responds to you being a non-drinker. I wouldn't care if a partner drank, but it's a red flag if they can't understand why I don't.” The impact on work Her professional life has changed, too. “Professionally, I do all sorts now; content marketing, lifestyle and culture journalism, and social media strategy. Recently I’ve enjoyed writing personal features, fiction and doing podcast and radio interviews that surround mental health and body image. Where my professional life often involves talking to a more corporate collective, my passion is really about speaking to and from the individual experience, and how we can all try and live happier lives.”  She feels she has found self-confidence through her sobriety. “It's created opportunities to speak publicly and connect with friends, old colleagues and strangers who sought advice in my DMs. That part is quite lovely. It's also kept me focused and calm. The boxing also helped me believe in myself enough to go freelance, too. “I now know that I have a lifelong responsibility to look after myself. Alcohol had become a trigger to bad times, and it just wasn’t worth it anymore.”

If you, or someone you know, is looking for advice on your relationship with alcohol, you can find more information on the NHS website here or call Drinkline, the national alcohol helpline, on 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9am to 8pm, weekends 11am to 4pm). You can also visit the following sites: www.gosober.org.uk alcoholchange.org.uk

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