When you’re looking to take your work goals in a new direction, having to negotiate your way towards it can feel like the biggest roadblock – especially for women in the workplace.

In fact, research has found that one in five women fear that negotiating their salary in particular will damage their career, with 25% fearing being rejected, 21% concerned about coming across as “pushy” and 23% lacking confidence. By contrast, the same study found that men felt confident in this space, about knowing their worth and feeling prepared for negotiations.

The Negotiation problem

So why is the negotiating world different for women, even if the working world seems to be actively looking for it as a skill? “Women may feel less confident negotiating due to various socialisation factors and structural dynamics in the business world,” positive psychology and business coach Elle Mace explains. “From an early age, societal norms often dictate that women should be nurturing, accommodating, and avoid confrontation. 

“This socialisation can lead to internalised beliefs that assertive negotiation styles are unfeminine or inappropriate. Additionally, women may face implicit biases and stereotypes in the workplace that undermine their credibility as negotiators. 

For example, they may be perceived as less competent or less deserving of assertive negotiation tactics compared to their male counterparts.”

She adds that the business world’s historical domination by men has made masculine traits of assertiveness and dominance normalised in negotiating. “As a result, women may feel disadvantaged or overlooked in negotiations, leading to a lack of confidence in their ability to assert their interests effectively,” she says. 

“Furthermore, disparities in pay and representation within leadership positions can contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome and undermine women's confidence in negotiating for fair compensation or advancement opportunities.”

Alexandra Dickinson, founder and CEO of negotiation training company Ask For It, suggests remoulding this disadvantage in negotiating and using it to your advantage as best you can. “Benchmark from those who you think are earning or achieving more than you, but don't make it your sole point of focus,” she suggests. “You have to believe it before anyone else will.”

Navigating Negotiations

To counter challenges when it comes to negotiation, Elle is adamant that both individual and structural solutions need to be implemented. “It's essential to address both societal norms and structural barriers that inhibit women's confidence in negotiation,” she says. “This includes promoting gender equality initiatives in the workplace to challenge stereotypes and biases, providing training and mentorship programmes specifically tailored to women for developing their negotiation skills, and creating a supportive organisational culture that encourages women to advocate for themselves confidently.”

She adds that we need more successful female negotiator role models to “help empower women to overcome self-doubt and assert their value in professional setting.

Negotiation beyond your professional life

According to Elle, negotiation skills can empower you in both your professional and personal life. “[They can] empower you to advocate for your needs, assert boundaries and achieve personal goals in relationships and everyday interactions,” she says. “This skill can also undo past experiences, sometimes traumatic, of not feeling good enough.” 

She adds that they can contribute to your conflict resolution skills (in and out of the workplace) and your financial savings, seeing as “skilful negotiations can result in cost savings, better terms and favourable agreements – leading to financial  benefits for both business and personal matters”. They can help you navigate life outside the business world with more confidence and adaptability when you’re thrown inevitable curve balls.

For Alexandra, negotiation will lead you to “set higher bars and meet and exceed them too”. “From my experience, the entrepreneurs I've seen with the most success are those who don't give up and who keep innovating, trying new things, listening to and serving their target market over the long haul,” she says.

Elle adds that employees who hone their negotiation skills will reap the benefits that come from “clearly expressing how their contributions benefit the organisation and align with its goals, which can enhance their leverage during negotiations”. 

Honing your negotiation skills

When it comes to maximising the potential of your negotiations, Alexandra says that feeling confident in your pitch is everything. In order to fully own it, you need to be clear on your outcome: for entrepreneurs, you need to know what value you’re providing your customers and how you’re different from your competitors.

If you're negotiating within your own job or workplace, it empowers you to advocate for your own needs, from salary increases and promotions to more flexible work arrangements, according to Elle. “This can lead to greater job satisfaction, increased morale, and improved overall performance,” she says. 

There are plenty of ways to hone your negotiating skills – Alexandra recommends beginning with practising your pitch out loud: “it can be a mirror to yourself” or to someone you trust for feedback. “Just thinking it through in your head isn’t enough,” she says. “You want to have it down cold, no notes, and be ready to face any objections or follow up questions you anticipate.”

Deep research in your pitch, whether it’s a pay rise or a new business direction, is always key. Alexandra recommends doing it “online and offline”. “Yes, look at all the online sources, but don't stop there. Talk to real people who would know what's reasonable in your context,” she says, adding that this includes talking to people who are in similar roles, positions or fields to yours, perhaps even those who've recently been promoted out of similar roles and people who hire for your role.

When it comes to practical tips for those looking to negotiate their way up in their existing workplace, Elle suggests approaching discussions with “preparation, confidence and a clear understanding of your objectives”.

“Researching industry standards, documenting your achievements, and knowing your worth are key steps in advocating for yourself effectively,” she says.“Additionally, active listening and empathy towards your employer's perspective can facilitate constructive dialogue and mutual understanding. Remember to be assertive yet collaborative, focusing on win-win solutions that benefit both parties.” 

Also, as you make your way through the negotiation process, it’s important to “maintain professionalism”, which can mean controlling your emotions while in conversations and negotiating incrementally to prioritise a win-win. “Building rapport throughout the negotiation process can contribute to a positive outcome and strengthen your relationship with your employer in the long term,” Elle says.

Above all, whether you’re running your own business or trying to climb the ranks within your workplace, negotiation skills can encourage you to maximise on selling yourself – which needs to be a professional priority for your own progress and empowerment.

"You need to be your own best salesperson, and you should always be pitching.” Alexandra says.